Last year I entered the single world,and eleven months in I want OUT!! Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being single, it's just not a preference for me. I like the comfort of a man, my man, not one that I'm sharing, not one that is a booty call.I think because I have been there and done that,now that I am a woman of a certain age,my taste have changed.
My needs are at a high demand now. They want me to stop putting them on the back burner and expose them to all they have been missing. It's funny how you miss something that you never really had, yet if you get a sample, you know that's what you needed all the time.
I am not designed to be alone. I've been that way all my life,and I think it's time I fill that slot.
I guess because I have a strong relationship with God I know my right and wrongs. I just tend to ignore the inner voice when I feel or hear it. Then I take my medicine when I finally decide to listen.
One thing I do know is tomorrow is not promised,and I don't want to feel like I missed something. I saved so much,yet I have done so little.
Never settle for less than you are willing to give~ Divalicious
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
A deep thought
I was sitting here doing some work when my partner called out for me to come watch something with him. He was watching some series on HBO where the priest said something profound.
The priest said a man had gone to heaven and hell for a visit and learned a powerful lesson. After watching this clip so did I.
The man went to hell and saw souls sitting at a table with food prepared before them, yet their souls were howling and they were starving.Each soul had a spoon, but the spoon was too long to reach their mouth .Their frustration was their torment.
When he went to visit heaven, they too sat at a table with food prepared before them,their spoons were also to long to reach their mouths, however they were full and content because they fed each other.
I've been praying for clarity, understanding, and awareness. Of the three clarity has been a hard one. But hearing that passage made me realize something. We can't make it through life alone. We were not designed to be alone. The souls were tormented because they were too selfish to help each other,therefore they suffered and were in need.
The souls in heaven were content because they understood the meaning of a helpmate and a partnership. We must help each other in order reach our goals. Our father in heaven even says "if we take one step, he will take two". That is an example we should follow. Two heads are better than one. That being said, we should live our life with a partnership. We must feed each other in order satisfy our hunger. Selfishness hurts us, charity helps us.
Divalicious
The priest said a man had gone to heaven and hell for a visit and learned a powerful lesson. After watching this clip so did I.
The man went to hell and saw souls sitting at a table with food prepared before them, yet their souls were howling and they were starving.Each soul had a spoon, but the spoon was too long to reach their mouth .Their frustration was their torment.
When he went to visit heaven, they too sat at a table with food prepared before them,their spoons were also to long to reach their mouths, however they were full and content because they fed each other.
I've been praying for clarity, understanding, and awareness. Of the three clarity has been a hard one. But hearing that passage made me realize something. We can't make it through life alone. We were not designed to be alone. The souls were tormented because they were too selfish to help each other,therefore they suffered and were in need.
The souls in heaven were content because they understood the meaning of a helpmate and a partnership. We must help each other in order reach our goals. Our father in heaven even says "if we take one step, he will take two". That is an example we should follow. Two heads are better than one. That being said, we should live our life with a partnership. We must feed each other in order satisfy our hunger. Selfishness hurts us, charity helps us.
Divalicious
Monday, January 2, 2012
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!
Welp, another year has ended and new has begun. I didn't wait to the New Year to make changes and plans for my life that were needed and necessary to begin with. I started losing weight last year and I am continuing that process. I made some life changes that were necessary for me to be happy. I learned that those who should be the happiest for you, are usually the ones who end up being your biggest hater.
This year I pray for continued health and strength. I pray for peace and understanding ,and also clarity. And as I travel through life, I am opting to take the scenic route. I want to explore as well as see what life really is. I also pray that God prepares me for my "designated driver". Yeah, I want a co pilot. I know what loneliness feels like. Now I want to know what being in love with someone who loves you back feels like.
Unlike most I do not need a man, but I want one.
Until next time, be blessed and remember........
Life is a journey that will only end when you stop living it.
This year I pray for continued health and strength. I pray for peace and understanding ,and also clarity. And as I travel through life, I am opting to take the scenic route. I want to explore as well as see what life really is. I also pray that God prepares me for my "designated driver". Yeah, I want a co pilot. I know what loneliness feels like. Now I want to know what being in love with someone who loves you back feels like.
Unlike most I do not need a man, but I want one.
Until next time, be blessed and remember........
Life is a journey that will only end when you stop living it.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Goodbye 2011
Every year we make New Years resolutions that we don't keep. We start out saying we're going to loose weight, only to give up by the second week in January. We vow to turn over a new leaf, get rid of the things in our life that don't mean us any good, only to turn around and replace them with something or someone far worse than what you got rid of in the first place.
I've seen some highs and lows this year and I made up in my mind I can't do nothing but get better. I will not allow the foolishness that some people have used to try and destroy me steal my joy. Change begins within, and it is up to us to pick the path we travel,as well as pay attention to our surroundings so that we may reach our destination safely.
Not everything in life is going to be a bed of roses,however it doesn't have to be stinking pile of shit either.
Live everyday like it's your last,enjoy every experience good or bad, and never let someone else choose your journey!
I am thankful for the lessons learned, and I am looking forward to my next destination.
Be blessed and have a prosperous New Year!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Starting Over
We can spend so much of our lives carrying other people till we forget how to carry ourselves.
I don't believe in being bitter about things that happen in my life, I charge it all to the game. You can either accept it,learn from it and move on, or allow it to gnaw at you till you go crazy. I can bet you one thing though, the other party is not gonna be sitting there worrying about you or your feelings.
I only cried over one man and then I sucked it up and drunk me a glass of phuc it and haven't shed a tear since. Do I like being alone? No. But if I am in a relationship by myself, then I need to be alone. If I'm the only one fighting for the right and you can't understand my feelings, then it's not we that need to work on it it's you.
I have learned that those that are designed to help you end up hurting you as opposed to those who enter your life by coincidence. It hurts to let some people go, but it's necessary. Once we have learned the lesson, we have to apply it and move on. Some of us want to hold on to some people as a just in case policy.And then we get mad when it comes back to bite us in the ass.
Yesterday and I look forward to tomorrow. I am thankful for my past and blessed for my future. I will take all the lessons I've collected on this journey and use them as tools to get through the road ahead. Thank you to all those who played a part in my old life because very few are in my new one!
When God moves,let him do his job.He got you there in one piece didn't he?
I don't believe in being bitter about things that happen in my life, I charge it all to the game. You can either accept it,learn from it and move on, or allow it to gnaw at you till you go crazy. I can bet you one thing though, the other party is not gonna be sitting there worrying about you or your feelings.
I only cried over one man and then I sucked it up and drunk me a glass of phuc it and haven't shed a tear since. Do I like being alone? No. But if I am in a relationship by myself, then I need to be alone. If I'm the only one fighting for the right and you can't understand my feelings, then it's not we that need to work on it it's you.
I have learned that those that are designed to help you end up hurting you as opposed to those who enter your life by coincidence. It hurts to let some people go, but it's necessary. Once we have learned the lesson, we have to apply it and move on. Some of us want to hold on to some people as a just in case policy.And then we get mad when it comes back to bite us in the ass.
Yesterday and I look forward to tomorrow. I am thankful for my past and blessed for my future. I will take all the lessons I've collected on this journey and use them as tools to get through the road ahead. Thank you to all those who played a part in my old life because very few are in my new one!
When God moves,let him do his job.He got you there in one piece didn't he?
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Where do I go from here?
The process has began,change was needed,so where do I go from here?
When I was a little girl I always dreamed that my wedding day would be one that people would never forget. I had it all planned I was going to get married at twenty-five,have my first child at thirty.I was going to be a best selling author,living in a nice quaint community with good schools,and lots of community service events I could participate in.Funny thing is due to a conversation I had with someone,when I was twenty,I didn't want to get married anymore. I mean if you can't be with the one you love....
Anyway I had my babies and focused on raising them then by the time I turned twenty-five I said I will be married by thirty.What's funny is very few people believed me. People who really knew me knew that you can never tell me I can't do something.
I guess my twenty-ninth year must have been the craziest year cause I was engaged twice that year. Although I was thirty when I got married,it wasn't but a month in.
Looking back,I did it cause I wanted to prove a point, instead of just waiting for what God had for me, I went after the right now.
Sad part is I prayed some crazy prayers and none of them came through,lol. I was asking questions I already knew the answers to.
I even fixed my mouth to say "Lord if this is my husband,we will have a baby". I know right. He kept saying to me "It's not my fault you can't get pregnant".
This is where it got kinda funny when you look back at it. I got pregnant twice.
One day I was thinking and I said I guess it happened to prove to him that I could,but I didn't have it cause he was not my husband. Yeah God has an awesome sense of humor!
My dream showed my husband and I raising our child as a unit. He never put in any work around here so I'm sure I would have had to handle everything on my own.
I still have my dreams and aspirations,and I'm sure they will happen sooner than later.I am a firm believer that it doesn't take forever to know what you want.I know that my one is still out there. And I am convinced that when we cross paths we both will know.
Matter of fact Ima throw this one out in the atmosphere: It is going to happen at the most inopportune moment and we both will know it!
In the meantime I will utilize my own advice and wait. Check out the scenery,enjoy the view and all the little,breathtaking moments that tend to leave me speechless.
When I was a little girl I always dreamed that my wedding day would be one that people would never forget. I had it all planned I was going to get married at twenty-five,have my first child at thirty.I was going to be a best selling author,living in a nice quaint community with good schools,and lots of community service events I could participate in.Funny thing is due to a conversation I had with someone,when I was twenty,I didn't want to get married anymore. I mean if you can't be with the one you love....
Anyway I had my babies and focused on raising them then by the time I turned twenty-five I said I will be married by thirty.What's funny is very few people believed me. People who really knew me knew that you can never tell me I can't do something.
I guess my twenty-ninth year must have been the craziest year cause I was engaged twice that year. Although I was thirty when I got married,it wasn't but a month in.
Looking back,I did it cause I wanted to prove a point, instead of just waiting for what God had for me, I went after the right now.
Sad part is I prayed some crazy prayers and none of them came through,lol. I was asking questions I already knew the answers to.
I even fixed my mouth to say "Lord if this is my husband,we will have a baby". I know right. He kept saying to me "It's not my fault you can't get pregnant".
This is where it got kinda funny when you look back at it. I got pregnant twice.
One day I was thinking and I said I guess it happened to prove to him that I could,but I didn't have it cause he was not my husband. Yeah God has an awesome sense of humor!
My dream showed my husband and I raising our child as a unit. He never put in any work around here so I'm sure I would have had to handle everything on my own.
I still have my dreams and aspirations,and I'm sure they will happen sooner than later.I am a firm believer that it doesn't take forever to know what you want.I know that my one is still out there. And I am convinced that when we cross paths we both will know.
Matter of fact Ima throw this one out in the atmosphere: It is going to happen at the most inopportune moment and we both will know it!
In the meantime I will utilize my own advice and wait. Check out the scenery,enjoy the view and all the little,breathtaking moments that tend to leave me speechless.
Change is needed
Once you have embarked on your process, you must decided what direction your journey will lead to next.
No one made me get married. I wanted to be saved from numerous situations only to create even more complex ones.The signs were there yet I walked past them thinking that with time and patience things would be better. I am a woman who needs her mind,body and soul stimulated. I need mental and physical stimulation and well I had neither. I am a firm believer that change begins with you.I didn't like who I was with or who I was becoming and after I tried everything I could think of, it was time to let it go.
I needed out before I began to hate him or he began to hate me. I knew it was official when he grabbed my arm and I literally got sick. The people around me saw the drastic change that occurred in the seven years he and I were together and the major difference it made when it was over.
Doctors had no idea how to treat me,no idea what to do with me,and they pretty much had given up on me.I had faith that I would be made whole again,even if no one else believed.
I am happy to report that I am back to doing what makes me happy. I wake up every morning with a smile on my face,and some days it hurts because I have not smiled in so long. When I laugh ,I really laugh,from deep within.What's even crazy is people say "girl you glowing",I start blushing, because I never realized it until now.
It feels good to have people in your corner for the right reasons. I have my sisters who go to bat for me and they truly only want me to be happy.No matter what I tend to go through,They are just a skip,hop,and jump away.
The fun loving energetic me has resurfaced and I have thrown caution to the wind and I am just ready to enjoy life and all it has to offer. It's funny how the older people see me and say somebody got your nose wide open. I am often saying un uh. But truth be told,I am just happy. I haven't been this happy in years.The last time I cried tears of joy was when my kids gave me an award for Mothers Day.
It's been a long time coming.And I am glad for second chances.Often times we have to go through a process to learn a lesson and to be able to know how to take care of a blessing when we receive it. Many things we want,we don't get right away because it's not meant for us at that time.We have to stay true to ourselves and wait for our season.
No one made me get married. I wanted to be saved from numerous situations only to create even more complex ones.The signs were there yet I walked past them thinking that with time and patience things would be better. I am a woman who needs her mind,body and soul stimulated. I need mental and physical stimulation and well I had neither. I am a firm believer that change begins with you.I didn't like who I was with or who I was becoming and after I tried everything I could think of, it was time to let it go.
I needed out before I began to hate him or he began to hate me. I knew it was official when he grabbed my arm and I literally got sick. The people around me saw the drastic change that occurred in the seven years he and I were together and the major difference it made when it was over.
Doctors had no idea how to treat me,no idea what to do with me,and they pretty much had given up on me.I had faith that I would be made whole again,even if no one else believed.
I am happy to report that I am back to doing what makes me happy. I wake up every morning with a smile on my face,and some days it hurts because I have not smiled in so long. When I laugh ,I really laugh,from deep within.What's even crazy is people say "girl you glowing",I start blushing, because I never realized it until now.
It feels good to have people in your corner for the right reasons. I have my sisters who go to bat for me and they truly only want me to be happy.No matter what I tend to go through,They are just a skip,hop,and jump away.
The fun loving energetic me has resurfaced and I have thrown caution to the wind and I am just ready to enjoy life and all it has to offer. It's funny how the older people see me and say somebody got your nose wide open. I am often saying un uh. But truth be told,I am just happy. I haven't been this happy in years.The last time I cried tears of joy was when my kids gave me an award for Mothers Day.
It's been a long time coming.And I am glad for second chances.Often times we have to go through a process to learn a lesson and to be able to know how to take care of a blessing when we receive it. Many things we want,we don't get right away because it's not meant for us at that time.We have to stay true to ourselves and wait for our season.
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