Letting Go the Past Part 2

I was sick of going through all this unnecessary bull.These people where making my life a living hell.I wanted to save myself for marriage but these people had a way with words. For some reason I always felt like I had to prove a point.I wasn't having sex back then,my summer love came close twice to being my first, yet we never had a chance to.Looking back when I did loose my virginity,I didn't feel like I was loosing something sacred. I liked the guy but I didn't love him.I was becoming overwhelmed by my home life.I made was on homecoming court,no one cared.I was a Rosette of Spring,no one cared.I went to the prom,no one cared.I say my life spiral out of control and no one seemed to care.By the time I was 17 I needed some help. I was at the end of my rope.I spoke to my counselor and told her I felt like the world was closing in on my and there was no light left.In so many words she confirmed what was being said and I left there that day feeling that the world would be better without me.I had missed my bus so I had to walk home.I was suppose to ride around the field during  half time. Instead I walked by the stadium and walked home.I walked in my room and pulled out letters that I had read over and over again.Thought of what might have been,then I put the letters up and I tried to think of a painless way to go.
About an hour later a man came to the house.He had been informed by my guidance counselor that I might try to hurt myself.He spoke with my aunt and then with me.
I packed my bag.(had no idea I wouldn't be needing it).
I was brought into the Lakeside Behavioral Services Unit.I had to take all my clothes off and bath from head to toe with quell,I had to give them all my personal belongings including my bra and panties.I asked why and I was told to make sure you don't try to hang yourself.

I spent almost a week in the facility.While in there I listened to others but I didn't indulge or reveal any of my pain.I just knew I would never threaten to kill myself again! The biggest slap in the face came when my aunt refused to come get me and the police threatened to put her in jail if she didn't come and get me.But then again what can you expect? They never stood by you before,so what makes this different?

I spent the next six months trying to figure out what I was going to do next.Once I turned 18 I could leave this hell hole and do what? It has been programmed on my head that no one wants you .You ain  nothing.Well in my mind I'm going to prove them wrong.I placed a call I would later regret, to the only man who was suppose to love me.......My dad